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Friends After The Divorce

7/18/2016

Importance of friends after divorce
Just when you get divorced you want to remove all the errors from your life and reconstruct it. You badly want this life of yours to work better than the previous one. Life doesn’t give assurance that it will be melodious all the times, so for harsh times you better find a support which you will need. Generally this support comes from your family and friends as they understand you the most and can speak openly in front of you. The friends that understand your misery after the divorce and accept you in such harsh times are really worth preciously maintaining for. You should always be in company with your best allies as they know everything about you and can be the best judge.
There also will be a fall out between you and some of your friends regarding the divorce as they don’t think it was the right option for you. There will also be many who will stop being friends with you as they think you are no longer valuable to them. The only advice is to disregard them and consider as if they never ever existed. These types of people end on the side of the wealthier spouse. You should always be in contact with those friends on whom you can incline on for support and advice. With time you will get the awareness of your real friends as the tables turn quickly in this world.
The most important thing is sharing with your friends everything that you are feeling after the divorce. This should be done because there will be some topic concealed that your friends can help you recover. Sharing your experiences help people to find the best way for you to get out of loneliness and feel better.
There are also some couples who maintain friendship with both theirs as well as their spouse’s friends. This is a high sign of maturity but you should be very careful at this point. Some of them can get smart and leak out your experiences after the divorce. This will only make you feel weaker. Share this only with the people you trust the most. With the guys that have stuck by you through thick and thin. There will also be certain guys that will only make matters worse for you. This can increase anxiety between you and your ex-spouse. You must handle such situations very smartly and should also use your fists if necessary as these guys deserve it.

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Importance of Family after Divorce

7/17/2016

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Importance of Family after Divorce
Divorce isn’t the last thing in the world. If you have a child then you have to start afresh at least for his/her bright prospect. You can’t let the child see your melancholy so that one day he/she stops believing in the constitution of marriage. During these callous times only the support of your family can help you. A family has a very major role to play in your life especially when you just got divorced as it helps you to gain confidence that you are not alone and the family members won’t allow you to go into depression stage.
The greatest thing to do after getting a divorce is to begin to a new life right from scratch. This can be done in the best way by taking sound tips from your family members. Experience is one thing that can do wonders for person. Those grey hairs do matter as they have seen the world and they know how it works. Taking advice from elders especially mom or dad can be helpful as they can sound frank and realistic at the same time.
Being in company of family can be very beneficial as the level of thinking of your mom and dad is way ahead of yours. Their vision of you as a family man is far more developed and bright at such situations. You may lose courage after the divorce but your family won’t let any stone go UN-turned in the process of bringing you back to normality.
One of the smartest ways to live a life following a divorce is to make your purpose and ideas very plain in front of your family so that there are no clashes later on. It may sound dreamlike but you will get a support for your ideas from the expected as well the most unexpected family member. To sum up you can always rely on your family members for emotional and mental support during these harsh times. The family is a thing you can rely on for going beyond the limits for your betterment, but at such times even you should be approachable and show some improvement in mental strength.
Nobody said that this life is going to be a joyful ride. There will be ups and downs relentlessly in your life. You should be all set to face them. When you are down and you see no gleam of light you can always rely on your family to help you out through the rough phase. If you are a person who just got divorced life can sure be hard as hell. They can act as your back bone as you recover from this mental trauma.

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Surviving A Break Up

7/15/2016

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Introduction:

Surviving a Break up
A lot of people tend to take break up seriously. They allow break up to rule their life. This affects their personal and professional relationship in a negative manner. Health of the individual is also affected badly. This is because he/she is unable to cope up with all the stress and mental tension that surrounds him/her as soon as his/her partner declares a breakup or divorce. However, it is imperative to resist from any temptation that will make you go insane about your break up. If there was life before the broken relationship, there can be life after it too. All you require doing is to make some efforts towards getting out of the deep depression you went in.
It is natural to go through a rough phase after splitting up with your partner. The emotional ups and downs can be very testing for you. However, it is important to take control of your life as soon as you can. In fact, this should be done way before you get suicidal thoughts due to the break up.
There are several things that you can do in this regard. For instance, you can consider talking to your ex about the break up. Know whether it is necessary for both of you. The best thing to do is to try knowing whether or not the break up is unavoidable. Once you know that there is nothing you and your ex can do about saving the relationship, it is finally time to mourn and get over it as soon as possible.
Talk to your friends and family to keep you busy and away from the thoughts and memories of the relationship. Try to sit alone for some part of the day and you will feel relaxed. You will definitely feel relaxed. Reading a lot of books will also help. This will keep you occupied and miles away from the thought of your ex.
Getting professional help is one of the wisest decisions you can take after a break up. A lot of people try to sit home feeling sorry for what has happened to them. However, this may affect your mental health negatively. You may get out of the house and meet friends. Spending time with family is also crucial in this regard. Self improvement will also work wonders. You can try indulging in something that enhances your personality and also offers you mental satisfaction.

Make friends: one of the best ways to overcome your break-up
During the divorce period people find it really difficult to control their emotions and their feelings. People become increasingly frustrated and feel that they will lose their temper and control easily at any given moment. But you should know that there many people just like you who are going through the same grind and who feel the same way. You may want to go for therapy to better your control over the ever increasing feelings of anger and annoyance. The therapy may also teach you how to become friends with your mate just for the welfare of your children. You may also want to involve in some sweet talk so that you don’t end up losing more money than necessary. People prefer to get all these in the past as soon as possible and not to waste more time and money than necessary.
To still remain friends’ people should follow some civilized mannerisms and behave in a nice way no matter what their differences have been. If you are in a relationship already then just keep the affair in a low profile until the divorce ends because the involvement of a third person will make the other defensive. One should willingly or unwillingly get actively involved in family therapy for the sake of their kids so that they don’t feel left out. The therapy really helps you to cool off as you find some answers. Divorce always gets the worst out of a person. A person should select day and decide with their partners so as to what goes with whom. It will be better than involving the attorneys that is when it gets nasty. By doing this people can save hurt and not forget time. During the course of the divorce one should always keep their tone low
and mild, to show your partner that you are as calm as one can be. One should take care that they do not raise their voice. This may lead to having to end up being in control. But then it is worth it so that the divorce goes about in a civilized manner.
But you should make your partner realize that this not an act of plea or you wanting to get back together. But it is just that you want to spare these difficulties for your partner because you still care about them. If both the partners are nice to each other then the divorce will pass through smoothly without leaving any scars of disgust.

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Let's Try To Be Friends Forever

7/11/2016

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https://www.facebook.com/RelationshipRules/videos/1186335971439267/

Friends Forever!!!
Have you ever tried to take your spouse as your best friend? You probably do not understand the friendship and love. We do not divorce our friends but we fall in and out of love very quickly. Friends are going to stay forever and this is not true in case of love and spouses.
We try head over heels to get rid of our spouses and get ready to fight in courtrooms. However, if you understand the fact that your spouse can be your best friend; you will not need to pay for lawyers fees. We fight with our friends and promise ourselves that we are not going to see them ever. However, the next moment, we are back again and hardly remember what has gone wrong. The same can be applicable to our spouses and hence marriage.
Forgiveness is the keyword and it must be remembered by all those people who find it hard to compromise with their life partners. Become a rock in your married life where nothing can stop and affect your wedding and the relationship.
Become friends and enjoy what you want to enjoy with your best friends such as long drives, late night outs and going on mountains with your beloved. Add spark in your life with enduring friendship with your husband or wife. This will not only strengthen your relationship but you both will be appreciated by people around you. You will also become the role models for your kids when they are adults.

Conclusion
For all those people, who can measure their happiness with the amount of money they have received as a result of divorce, we will like to mention that emotional and psychological losses are much more than the financial loss and there is no way you can heal these wounds. Your kids will suffer and you will not be able to provide them the support you have promised to give them when they were born. You will not do justice to their childhood and the rest of their lives.
Will they be able to forgive you for snatching one parent from them? Maybe never!!!
Marriage is a big responsibility as large as a life is. It becomes your duty to take care of your responsibilities in the right manner. Running away from problems is one of the ultimate solutions; give yourself some time and see what you will lose.

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Divorce And Your Emotional Challenges

7/11/2016

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Divorce and your emotional challenges
People think that after getting divorce, they will get rid of the other person, family obligations and other responsibilities which can make them happier and they will be able to enjoy their freedom. Psychologists have revealed the fact that such people only think from the prospective of running away from problems and situations because they are just unable to handle them.
You look for a person who you can be with for the rest of your life. He or she must be able to stand by you in any situation; however, with the passage of time, you start realizing that the person is not good enough and all you want is to get rid of them.
However, studies have shown facts that a divorce can cost a person emotionally also. Institute of American Values has come up with the report that divorced couples and married couples were rated on 12 different parameters. It had been observed that the divorced couples were not any happier after five years of divorce whereas married couples have better psychological well being.

The unhappiness of divorced couples is because of the following reasons:

Even after the divorce, the couple stays depressed and it does not go away even with the passage of time. The spouses are not able to raise their self-esteem even after getting the divorce.
They are not able to mingle with society and their own friends as they used to. Loneliness starts to enter their lives slowly and they may get hurt looking at other couples.
Violence in marriage can also leave permanent scars on the mind and soul of an individual which results in more depression and guilty.

Ms Heins has said that even if the couple wants to settle their divorce with minimum of hassles and complications, the divorce lawyers for both the parties get into the arguments. This results in a never-ending battle.
Couples just end up in courtroom drama and their emotions are limited to winning the other parties. They are discussing their problems with third parties which are up making money out of their problems. The lawyers have nothing to do with the emotions of people fighting for divorce. They are more concerned about their paper work, reputations and the huge money they are going to make.
People must understand the fact that no one can bring them happiness. Only you and your partner can help each other and you will have to believe that having him or her besides you, you will be more satisfied emotionally.

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Welcome!

I am Dean Jensen this is where my Trek to a healthy me ended up. My story is on my Facebook page: Dean's Oil Trek if you haven't already checked it out, Please feel free too. I am here to help you and answer any questions you have about my changed life style. I had no choice but to take this road because of my numerous health issues. Thanks for joining me, Dean

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